Time to let it go. He spent the better part of 4 years hoping. Not just hoping but making life altering moves to a place that seemed perfect for the two of them. Near enough that the friendship could be planted and cultivated and hopefully so much more.
Too many days thinking about her, feeling about her, mourning about her. He was wide awake. Awake to his faith, awake to how much he loved her even after all they’d been through, all he’d been through. No one ever was going to replace her, he tried, she never left his mind or his heart. Didn’t matter, didn’t change her heart, didn’t defrost what he wondered now was ever a fire for him. When you have to wonder that’s a clue.
He’d begged, poured out his heart, prayed and pleaded. A million tears. It is over. He was alone in this. Jamie, no Wendy. Pathetic, unrealistic, wasting his life on dreams that will never be. The love of his life was gone. As gone as a dead body is gone. Her loss really. He wanted to give so much. He was worth the effort as she was. She obviously didn’t have an ounce of desire for it. She did what she wanted to do and pursuing him was not what she desired. He finally was accepting it.
God is his provider. He knew God saw all about it, understood it intimately, knew what was the desire of his heart. Accepting that God knew everything and better than any human would ever understand. Time for him to stop behaving as though he was lacking. After all God is his provider and He has not chosen to provide her back in his life. This wasn’t about Wendy’s choices, this was about God’s choices for him. Time for him to accept that His ways are better than ours. That He knows all things and for whatever reason had chosen not to answer Jamie’s prayers. Jamie knew God knew all about it. And He had chosen a life without her. A life not prayed for by Jamie. His ways are higher than ours and it was time for the terminus of these dreams, obviously contrary to what God had in mind.
He released her from his mind and soon his heart. At least the present Wendy. The one he knew he would always cherish. Time to get busy with what God has next. No more time will be wasted on what is not God’s will.